12/12/12

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Sometimes time can pass me by without noticing. But with today being the auspicious 12/12/12, I wanted to take note. So I set my alarm to go at 12:10, so I would be ready to notice of 12:12 on 12/12/12.

I noticed, and I took a photo.

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It’s not going to be a time in my life I will remember for years to come. It was a freezing cold, but clear sky day in London. I was sitting at the kitchen table doing work on my computer while drinking a cup of tea. But I stopped and I took notice. I was aware of time. I was aware of myself. I was aware of my surroundings.

I think it’s nice to just stop sometimes and notice the passing of time and the normality of everyday life.

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Experiences – trying again

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So I thought 2012 was going to be the year for experiences.
It has been an amazing and busy year, but I must admit that new experiences have been few and far between. Sure I had lots of experiences that I didn’t put on my original list, or write about on here, and to be honest didn’t always even acknowledge to myself at the time. But I also feel that I missed out a little bit this year.

So I’m now naming 2013 the year for experiences!

I’ve started to put together a list of 52 experiences that I will undertake in 2013.
Don’t you love the fact I couldn’t complete a short list in 2012 so I have made it even bigger in 2013! Always up for a challenge I am! 🙂

So here is my list for 2013.

New ideas and thoughts gratefully received; just leave them in the comments below.

A whole lot of nothingness

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The past few days I have been drained. Emotionally, physically, spiritually gone.
I have slept, watched crappy television and played games on my phone. I haven’t had the energy or motivation to do anything else. (Although yesterday I did venture out to a friends place for Thanksgiving dinner which was lovely, but was home by 9pm and in bed).

I’m not sure if it is hormonal, nutritional, viral, bacterial, psychological or what. I just don’t seem to have the energy to think or do and it’s getting me down a bit. As I write this the sun is shining right onto me and I can feel it warming my heart and soul but I’m definitely not rejuvenated and thriving like I was last Sunday. I am just feeling I have enough energy to start tackling the 70 or so emails that have piled up in my various inboxes. I hopefully will have enough energy to venture out this afternoon to have a coffee with a friend. And then I am hoping that after another good nights sleep I have the energy to run a group tomorrow, as I cancelled one on Friday.

I don’t like feeling this way. But I guess it is a reminder that I am fortunate that I don’t usually. I would like to get to the root cause, so I think it is time to start tracking my food intake, my energy levels, my mood, the weather, my menstrual cycle and just see if I can find some kind of causal link (yep, my science background comes into play – collect evidence!). And I wanted to write about it on here, to remind myself and others that life isn’t always roses, sunshine and unicorns. Sometimes the black clouds roll in and we need to find ways for them to roll on back out again.

Blessed

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Yesterday was lost to a day on the couch, under a duvet, playing a game on my phone. Yes, a whole day!
Today the sun shone and I feel rejuvenated. I biked into the city and had brunch with friends. I biked home and spent time with my darling. I wrote a blog for my business blog, and then listened to three amazing people share their views on Oprah’s #SuperSoulSunday. They were telling the world what I believe. I guess I felt validated. I guess I felt connected again to myself and what I want from this world.

And then I read back over some of my old blog posts and started to smile. I am totally living my vision. We live in a fantastic light, bright and warm home that has the sun streaming in every morning. I am eating out and trying new places, and cherishing the food and the people I am eating with. I am getting enough stimulation and experience with what London has to offer as well as finding time for me and sharing more of my ideas and thoughts with the world. I am running groups for a variety of people and learning as I go. I work three days a week on a project that I believe in, and it keeps the money coming in to allow me to share more of myself and my dream on the other days. I am starting to coach more people and enjoying the learning that comes from that too.

I feel blessed, truly blessed right now. And that comes with being truly present and aware of each moment. I feel as though when I let go, and hold onto the vision, then it all starts coming together.

A letter from a mother

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Often I live my life a little bit oblivious to the fact that my parents live on the opposite side of the world to me. But last night that distance became noticeable. The miles of ocean between us was felt.

I was playing around on Pinterest and finding images that connected me to what is important in my life. And then somehow I stumbled upon a pin that took me to this blogpost. And then I read the letter and cried. And then I read it out to my darling and cried some more.

I love my parents dearly, and this letter just struck a cord with me. It hit my heart, and hit it hard.
Because the letter is so beautiful, I’m going to reproduce it here. I hope it connects with your heart as it did with mine.

Letter from a Mother to a Daughter

“My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter.”

PS Mum and Dad, the day that I see you getting old has yet to arrive. And I hope that when that day does arrive, in many years to come, I remember this letter and treat you the way you have always treated me – as a beautiful, talented, knowing and complete individual. xxxx

Firing on all cylinders

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You know you have those days when nothing goes right and you get to the end of the day and wonder what the hell you achieved? Yeah, well today is definitely NOT one of those days! 

Today I am inspired and energised, and doing things that bring me energy and joy. Today I am doing things that seem to be igniting my soul and I’m firing on all cylinders.

This morning I had my first #cafeclarity session. It’s an idea I have of sitting in different cafes around London each Wednesday and people can come in for a dose of Robyn. A chance for them to stop by for a conversation, a dose of inspiration, a lashing of clarity and leave with some clear actions to move things forward. It’s a way for me to share more of me with the world, and perhaps gather a few coaching clients on the way.
So today I did it. I only put it out on Twitter so I didn’t get anyone coming along, but that will come with time, and I’m ok with that. And actually what I got was real clarity for myself as I was out of my usual environment and I took to pen and paper and did some planning for me.

I planned a new group that I want to run on a weekly basis. A group that reflects my new mantra – Connect to yourself, Connect to others, Connect to nature. It’s still a work in progress but I felt I made real progress with my thinking on it today.

I also got some more words to put on my work website, which I will update in the coming week. Words which better reflect who I am, and what I want to achieve. And I signed up for a 100 day inspiration programme to keep the inspiration coming.

Tonight I head out of London to see a play written by a friend and this will just cap off a great day.

The present

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It’s so bloody cliche, but so bloody true!

The present is a present.

When you are fully in the moment, it is such a gift. Days can speed past and you can wonder where they went, but yesterday was made up of so many moments that I was fully present for, and I savoured them then, and I am savouring them now looking back over the past 24 hours or so.

The cycle to the supermarket to get the groceries and coming back with two overflowing panniers and a basket of goodies (I haven’t quite mastered how much will fit on my bike, and how heavy some of the food is!)

The pure delight and excitement of a friend who is teaching my darling to play the piano when he managed to play four bars of music with his right and left hands simultaneously. (She is a born teacher)

The delight of my darling when he realised he had played those four bars!

The sharing of food and conversation with friends and being truly comfortable to have in-depth discussions about life and individual strengths.

The sense of invasion when we found that someone had used an angle grinder to take the padlock off our bike shed. Luckily a neighbour heard and yelled at them before they managed to take any of the bikes. (Our bathroom is now a little bit crowded with 2 roadbikes being stored there safely!)

Rocking up at a party where I knew no-one and having great conversations with people. Being able to say that yes, I am a coach, and then exchanging phone numbers with someone that I hope to meet up with for a coffee soon.

Seeing fireworks over London from the AMAZING roof-terrace at said-party.

In the space of a few hours getting a real sense of people, their histories, their stories, their potential futures. I really do love people and find them fascinating. 

Heading to a second party of the night and catching up with a friend I haven’t seen in ages.

Getting my boogie on to rock-and-roll music in a random club in Soho (yet another reason why I love London!) and dancing without a care in the world. 

Trying unsuccessfully to find a cab at about 1am in the morning, and finding central London buzzing – people and more people everywhere!

Getting home at 2:30am, and breaking down in tears because I was tired, cold, hungry and OVER the night!

That is 24-hours to remember! Today will be a lot quieter, but still full of magic moments if I just take the time to be present for them.