Risky business

I’ve always been a bit risk-adverse. For some reason I used to let the word “failure” have power over me. I didn’t want to fail. I wasn’t sure what would happen if I did, but I never wanted to go there. And perhaps I have missed out on a number of things thus far in my life due to the power of that word.

Then over the past couple of years as I have been doing more reading about entrepreneurs and setting up your own business I have actually come to view failure quite differently. I still don’t like that word – but the idea of learning from mistakes sits much better with me. I see the point in trying and learning when your idea doesn’t go quite as planned. I understand the concept that by continuing to try you will sometimes take a step forward and sometimes two steps backwards. I am stepping outside of my comfort zone more and more, with less concern as to whether I will “fail” or not.

I’m a little sad that I didn’t take more risks as a child or young adult. Perhaps if we’d had “failure week” at school I may have. I came across this idea courtesy of the BBC recently where a girls school had a week where the emphasis was on the students having  go, rather than playing it safe. I love the concept of teaching people that it’s ok to fail. It’s where you learn the most. It’s where you find the edge of your comfort zone.

Although I am getting better at stretching my boundaries, I’m not sure anyone would ever call me a “risk taker”. I am taking little steps all the time and learning from each mistake. And even more importantly, I am enjoying the process!



“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely.”

~ Henry Ford 




“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

~ Thomas Alva Edison

Creativity

Creative isn’t a word I have used to describe myself. In fact, it is a title I have pretty much refused to have and own. I can’t draw. I’m not crafty. I don’t “feel” creative.

However, I don’t like to put labels (or perhaps that is anti-labels!) on myself, so I have been trying to find ways to be more creative.

I’m writing at 750words.com each day and although some of it is just trivial nonsense and drivel, some of it comes from a deeper and I guess more creative place. I enjoy the writing process (I guess that shows with the 350 or so posts I have written here on this blog!) and I have found it is also meditative in nature for me. Sometimes the words just flow from out of nowhere and I love that feeling.

Also, the writing I did for Danielle LaPorte’s burning question around feelings got me into a more creative frame of mind and again I loved that process.

And then I came across a photo a day challenge on Pinterest and decided to take part (even though I only came across it part-way through the month). I have thoroughly enjoyed the process of thinking about and taking photos each day, and that has helped get the creative juices flowing too. I have looked at objects in different ways. Thought about words from different angles. Tried to find a good way to tell a story through a photograph.

Then earlier this week I came across another great website (bentlily.com) which encourages you to write a poem a day. Perhaps that can be my March creative challenge to myself!

So here’s to more creativity. And to more new experiences too I guess!

Revolutionary

This weeks question from Danielle LaPorte came at exactly the right time (isn’t that always the way?). I have been thinking about what I want to focus my energy on as sometimes I feel I want to change “the world” – there are just so many ideas and thoughts that come to me. But I have been narrowing it down, and this week’s question helped me to focus.

What do you want to revolutionise?

I want to revolutionise the narrative of success.

Currently in the Western World the main narrative around success is money.
A big house, £5 million in the bank account, an exorbitantly priced car all currently equate to success.
It’s about possessions and things and money and material objects.

I want success to be about people.

I want it to be about living a life that is true to you. Doing what you love. Doing it your way.
I want success to be about achieving what you desire in this world.
The positive impact you have on people. The compassion you show. The happiness you have with the life you lead. The experiences you gain. The experiences you share.

I want success to be about happiness and fulfilment.

Success is an individual thing. The way I view success will be different from you. But if we are both happy and living a life that we want to be living, and doing that with respect and compassion for others, then we are both successful.

I am still playing around with the future narrative (to ensure it is easy to understand and easy to share), but I think it boils down to:

Success is living your life in a way that makes you happy and fulfilled, and respects and supports those around you.

Success is being true to yourself.

Any help on helping to write this future narrative would be warmly welcomed, so feel free to add your comments below.



Choice

Everything in life is a choice.
We can choose to view everything through any number of lenses.

Therefore I find it hard when I see people around me who have good jobs, amazing opportunities and only small “first world problems” to deal with, and they can’t see that actually it is all down to them. They have a CHOICE how they live their lives. They are in control of their feelings, emotions, decisions and ultimately their destiny.

They can have good relationships, interesting and challenging jobs, a good life. Yes it will take work. Yes it will require a change. Yes it will require some action. Yes it may not always be rosy, but you can’t just sit there and wish your life was different.

It makes me sad when people don’t take responsibility for their lives.

Life doesn’t DO THINGS to you.
You get to DO STUFF with your life.

Take this guy I came across recently, Kyle Maynard. He is a congenital amputee, and was born with only stumps for arms and legs. He has opened his own gym, is training to climb Kilimanjaro and is a motivational speaker.

That is someone who has said “Actually life, screw you, I am going to go out there and LIVE it!”

We can all find so many excuses. But we can also find so many reasons if we choose to look at life that way.

You get to choose how you feel. You get to choose your story. You get to choose when to give up and when to keep going. 

Personally, I choose to live a life filled with laughter and people. Inspiration and experiences. Love and compassion.
What do you choose?

I believe in…

I have been using my time here in the Alps to connect some more with who I am and what I want to bring to this world of mine. The words collaboration and community and support and stories just keep coming up again and again. I’m playing around with all of this and thinking about what this might mean for me as a way forward. Who knows where that will lead, but I am enjoying the process.

Part of that thinking and playing time has been putting the following together.
The words and ideas that I live by.
The ideas I want to share with others.

Dumb beliefs

What’s one dumb thing you used to believe in?




That at every decision point there was ONE right choice.

That you had to find the ONE thing in life that made you happy.

That you had to find ONE career ladder to climb.

That the world was BLACK & WHITE. RIGHT & WRONG. YES & NO.




The idea of there only being one right choice, or one way of living life is very limiting. It keeps you small.

If you can’t find that one thing, or if you don’t know what the one thing is, then you don’t move. You don’t try. You don’t experiment. You keep waiting to make the RIGHT choice. The one that is EXACTLY what you need. But you actually just stay where you are because of fear of doing the wrong thing.

Actually, any step will be fine. Any choice will take you further away from where you don’t want to be and closer to where you do. Any choice or decision is valid. Each choice will take you to a place where you will learn something.

So make a choice. Any choice. Just do it.

From doing to being and back again

When I first started writing this blog about two and a half years ago I was very much in DOING mode 100% of my time.
I thought that if someone would just tell me what I should DO with my life (what job I should have, what career ladder I should climb), I could just bloody well get on with it and then I’d be fine! (To be honest there are still days I wish that would happen but I now realise that is a total fantasy!)

Through awareness I have learned how to BE more often. To sit and be still. To be in the moment and just enjoy where I am. To think about the impact I have on the world as a PERSON not only the ACTS or JOBS or ROLES I choose to partake in.

The change from DOING to BEING has been a big one for me, and one I am so glad I have been made aware of. I can now just BE more often.

However, now that I spend a lot more of my time BEING, I have actually realised that you can’t be there forever! You need to actually go back to the DOING! Yes, you need to let go to know who you are and what you want. But then you need to ACT to make things happen.

Just thinking about change won’t help. Just thinking about what you are going to do will get you nowhere.
You need to DO something! Do ANYTHING! The act of doing will ensure things start happening for you.

So stop doing and BE in the moment and connect to your deeper knowing and being.
And once connected, stop thinking and start DOING! Take that first step and take some action.

Fear of being powerful

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us;

it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

A fabulous quote from Marianne Williamson (the emphases are mine) that I found in a book I have just finished called Do the Work  by Steven Pressfield.

My purpose for money

So when I saw this week’s Burning Question from Danielle LaPorte I must admit my heart dropped a little bit.

Money and I have a complex relationship. It is one as a 34-year old I wish was better, but I’m working on it! It’s not that I spend more than I have (that has never been the case). It is more to do with the value I place on money. The value of success and achievement. Those who earn a lot are successful. Even though I have made many conscious decisions in my life to earn less than I was on before (and sometimes a lot less!), the whole money = success ideal still forms a big part of my belief system (and therefore something I use to beat myself up with on a regular basis).

Then again, I am feeling much more comfortable with our money situation at the moment. So, perhaps  it was the perfect question at the perfect time for me.

What is your purpose for money?

My purpose for money is for

a life full of experiences.

Travel. New places. New ideas. Fresh thinking. Good food. Good wine. Good conversations. Laughter. Mental stimulation. Testing my boundaries; pushing them ever wider. Making my life BIGGER AND BIGGER by the experiences I have – the places I go, the people I meet, the food I savour, the discussions I have, the thoughts that come, the ideas that flourish.

To go with the experiences is

a place to call home.

This home isn’t massive but it is comfortable and homely and very much “ours”. It speaks of us as people. It is warm and welcoming and comfortable. It is a place we share with others. It is full of our adventures. Our experiences. Our lives. It has fixtures and fittings which are pleasing to the eye, which tell a story. It is a place when you open the front door you just breathe in and out and relax.

Money also allows me

the space to just be.

It allows me freedom of time. To just sit and think. It allows me the time to share my passion and enthusiasm with the world. It allows walks in the hills, skiing down mountains, swimming in seas, sitting in the sun and just being. It gives me the freedom to give more of myself.

I’m back….

So having been under a duvet for the past four days and feeling like death warmed up, I am back! Back to using my brain again. Back to facing writing. Back to doing more than watching mindless movies. Back to stepping outside my door into the fresh air.

I’m not very good at being sick! I find myself easily bored. I don’t like having low energy. I don’t like doing nothing. I don’t like being stuck indoors when there is sun and blue skies and snow to be had outside.
Of course as I write this I am giving myself some of my own good advice – well you can change the way you look at these things Robyn!

So I have all sorts of half-written posts and ideas and sentences in various places as they came to me in and out of alpha-state relaxation. I am looking forward to getting on with them over the next little while. I am also looking forward to getting back out on the slopes. And generally waking up and feeling great!